When illness interrupts the challenge?

So, as much as I wanted to complete the 30 day challenge, I spent a few weeks battling a few illnesses. I had viral gastroenteritis that resulted in a few doc and 1 ER visit. THEN... I had a high white cell count and some mild lympocytosis. So, antibiotic round 1 while entertaining the soft GI diet because I obviously don't recover quickly from viruses. My blood work finally hits normal range, so I'm off to the races playing some catch up. Then, the lymph node in the back of my neck swells. I'm putting on the oils and using warm compresses because this is not a completely abnormal issue for me. However, in week 2, my ear starts to ache. I have no fever, so I am home-treating with garlic oil. Then... BAM.... my ear swells up like a little melon. Doc is triple booked, so I head to urgent care who gives me antibiotics drops and out the door I go. Three days later, I hit my fav family doc only to have her stare at me like "WTF?!" Now, at this point, my ear is raw and…

My dream job

We have had a rough week at my house this week. This is my first chance to write all week. The next challenge prompt is "what is your dream job?"

I'm currently working for my MBA in Business Intelligence. My conditions have allowed me to explore tech and coding while I'm down and I really love it. I want a job with a living wage. Something that pays me for all the skills I have learned. I want to be able grow... continue being a lifelong learner. I want a job where I can set big goals to work towards. I would like to collaborate with others instead of ticking away endlessly on my own. I want to find mentors and role models to look up to. I want to feel that I am exactly where I belong.

I would love the option to work at home or in the office. I obviously need healthcare and retirement benefits. Maybe short term disability that's covered. I totally believe I'm going to find it. I just have to keep my eyes open for the opportunities in my path.


So I'm supposed to pick one favorite quote to share with you today, but truthfully, I'm a bit of a quote junkie. I used to post daily quotes in the living room of a transitional home I worked in daily. I have quotes randomly written in margins of notebooks... so I thought I'd share a bunch. However, this is supposed to be a challenge, so I'll post a quote that really spoke to me

"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt." - John Green- The Fault in our Stars

This couldn't be more true. Sure, you can hide the pain for a bit- push it down in, but at some point it comes and you have no choice but to let it be seen.... felt.... acknowledged. How wonderful and terrible at the same time! Pain demands and, eventually, you will comply.

20 facts

Alrighty... day 2 is 20 facts about me. I fell asleep while downloading my blog last night, so maybe two posts today. We will see how the day plays out. On to the facts!
1. I'm 31 years old.
2. I'm chronically ill with chiari malformation, syringomyelia, Ehler Danlos Syndrome and fibromyalgia.
3. I am currently a data analyst
4. I'm an oil addict and sell Young Living oils
5. I am mommy to an amazing 10 year old girl and a 4 year old American Bulldog
6. I hold a sociology degree and I am almost done with my MBA
7. I belong to the local VFW auxiliary and currently hold a position there.
8. I'm about a quarter Cherokee (maybe A bit Shawnee too? Lineage is a bit fuzzy)
9. I am Pagan, but do still hold some of the beliefs I was raised with
10. I lived with my grandparents from 5 to 16
11. I tend to delve deeply into work when I'm having hard times
12. I don't feel comfortable unless I'm constantly learning
13. I have complex PTSD
14. I am not ashamed of my story or my stru…

Blogging Challenge

Hey guys!

It's been a difficult few months for me for various reasons. I've decided to try a blogging challenge that will allow you guys to get to know me, but will also give me a chance to perform some reflection and gain some self-awareness. First, I want to just give you guys a general update. I'M A MARRIED LADY NOW Y'ALL! If you remember that in a previous post I was hilariously worried about lots of random things surrounding my disorder. Luckily enough, I did not fall, I didn't look too short, and I survived wearing my heavy dress for 12 hours! Here! I wanna show you some lovely pictures that my photographer, Becca Gramuglia of Vintage Green Pictures, took. Having Becca shoot my wedding was amazing because I have known her since I was 8 years old! Okay... on with show and tell!

I want to add a note with this one. The little bride and groom on this cake from Kathy's Cakery were the same figures that Dan's parents had on their wedding cake. I made the flo…

Mobility Bucket List?

I don't know if anyone else has done this, but when I discovered I would eventually lose a lot (if not all) of my mobility, I made a mental mobility bucket list. I stated mentally thinking of and doing things I wanted to do before I completely lost my ability to walk and enjoy them with my family. Now, some of the things I do need to do partially in a wheelchair because my legs cannot take the extended exertion, but I'm ticking off memories. Brown's game, Indian's game, Zoo, amusement parks, camping.... I've got a big one coming up. I wanted to walk down the aisle and dance at my wedding. This one was big for me. And in May, I'm going to tick that off the list, but that doesn't mean that I haven't thought or had fun with planning a wedding with my disability. There are some glaring difficulties.

1. My groom is a foot taller than I am. I cannot wear heels. I am resolved to just going barefoot through the whole damn wedding. I asked my daughter to carry a…

Like Genies in a Bottle...

So, who here is an emotional bottler? Let me guess? Um... guilty... guilty... guilty... It's okay. I am among those guilty. I think a lot of us chronically ill are bottlers... partly out of necessity of our situation and partly because some of us have been our entire lives. I grew up in a "pull yourself up by your bootstrap type" family. This has gotten be through a lot of crazy. However, one of the first things you learn in pain management "boot camp" (those little programs you have to do so they will give you your frickin pills so you can go do the functional adult things people expect you to do), is that bottling all those emotions will manifest in physical pain. This became excruciatingly clear to me over the past month as I tried to once again swallow my grief and act like one more thing was not bothering me. We all know we can only bottle, so much. My pain levels cranked up a few notches and I realized I needed to grieve. Then, I started to think about t…